Archive for the ‘Maintain Your Groove: Be True to You!’ Category

Step Moms: I Believe You Are Great

“ I believe that you are great,

That there’s something magnificent about you.

Regardless of what has happened to you in your life.

Regardless of how young or old you think you might be.

The moment you begin to think properly,

This something that’s within you,

This power that’s in you that’s greater than the world,

It will begin to emerge!

It will take over your life.

It will feed you.

It will clothe you.

It will guide you, protect you, direct you, sustain your very existence…..

If You Let IT!!

Now that is what I know for sure.”   Michael Beckwith www.agapelive.com

Just a little power note for all my Step Mom peers as we head on in to the Holiday Season. Believe  you are great each and every day and on the flip side of this tough, tough time of year, you’ll look back and just laugh at how easy it was for you to breeze through all the stress and turmoil that’s bound to ensue.

Cheers to you all!

Peace and Love,

PJ xoxo

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Step Moms: Hold on Tight!

I have written a lot over the years on how important it is to let love lead and to focus on the love between you and your husband to get you through the tough times. Recently, I have had the unfortunate experience of needing to apply this theory to life beyond Step-dom and am I ever glad I have always hung on to this belief.

On June 30th, my younger and only brother was tragically killed in a car accident and it was my life long love for him that carried me through some really trying times. Not only with my own grief, which is still the first thing I think about every morning when I awake, but also in the face of great adversity with some less than savoury extended family members. Almost like a sixth sense, love kicked in and allowed me to move through and past the demands of less than rational minds and crazy surges in emotions.

This journey has been eerily similar to the path I have travelled in Step-dom, with disappointment in people and disbelief at pettiness rife for the taking. But but but but but, love still reigned supreme. As I traversed each heart wrenching day, focusing only on my brother, much as I have focused on my love for my husband, allowed me the tunnel vision necessary to rise above all the crap and do what was right.

And so, I implore you, in Step-dom and in life, hold on tight to love for it is the true and great and only route to happiness and self fulfillment.

Be well and be happy, hug your siblings and love your husbands!!

PJ xoxoxoxo

Step Mom Survival:Windows and Walls

I read about the theory of Windows and Walls in Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest book, “Committed”, and was so intrigued by it, put it to work in my own house.

Of course at this point it is just my husband and me under the same roof, but I have found that the principle can be extended to all manner of relationship, and can indeed be something for Step Moms to add into their Survival Kits.

Although the purveyor of Windows and Walls Shirley Glass passed away in 2003, her words and theory still ring true in her absence.

When I started to look at my life, all things in my life and measured it all by what should be behind windows and what should be behind walls, clarity ensued, and a greater bond between my husband and myself was also a beautiful surprise.

It makes perfect sense, and also the perfect fall back for a Step Mom who may sometimes struggle with how much of her life is now, no pun intended, under glass. I have often just used the key words windows and walls with my husband to bring focus back to the special-ness of our relationship, and the contents of which require safe keeping.

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Step Moms: Cut Yourself Some Slack!

’cause no one else is gonna!!

Have you found that in becoming a new Step Mom you have also taken on the characteristics of a pheasant under glass? All of a sudden every single solitary move you make seems to be under a microscope and meticulously dissected by everyone you know and tons of those you don’t:)

The way you wear your hair, do the dishes, clean the tub, sort the laundry, cut the grass, cook, spend money, go on vacation, dust…. where you work, who your friends are, and on and on it goes. All those life choices that you have been so proud of making, the accomplishments you secretly coveted, are now fodder for the rank and file of your new expanded family.

So what the heck is a girl to do?

CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK!!!!!

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Step Moms: Breathe for Stress Relief!

While I was putting together materials for a workshop on self empowerment, I was struck by how this one might be of use to Step Moms everywhere who might need a personal way of relaxing from time to time.

Here goes…

Deep Relaxation Exercise

(There are benefits to recording your relaxation practise if you have the equipment to do so…the playback of guided instruction in your own soothing voice is just one of them.)

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First Comes Love…

When first entertaining the idea of becoming a part of a family already in progress, outside of familial input, and please note the word input and NOT support…. I was lucky enough to have received guidance and support from two men I adored and respected.

One, a handsome and engaging former school teacher turned psychologist and the other a teddy bear of a University Professor and highly respected expert in his field. Pretty good dream team of support if I must say so myself!

 The advice and insights they provided however were almost diametrically opposed and now, soon approaching 10 years of being ensconced within this family unit of mine, I finally understand why….

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Step Moms and Courage

Courage seems to be a trending topic on this blog as of late.

It’s interesting too as I have found myself over the years, as challenge reared it’s sometimes ugly head over and over again, contemplating the words of Mother Teresa where she talks about not wanting to attend and Anti-War rally. The flip side of that is, she said that if you’re holding a Peace rally, she’d definitely be there.

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