Step Mom Survival:Windows and Walls

I read about the theory of Windows and Walls in Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest book, “Committed”, and was so intrigued by it, put it to work in my own house.

Of course at this point it is just my husband and me under the same roof, but I have found that the principle can be extended to all manner of relationship, and can indeed be something for Step Moms to add into their Survival Kits.

Although the purveyor of Windows and Walls Shirley Glass passed away in 2003, her words and theory still ring true in her absence.

When I started to look at my life, all things in my life and measured it all by what should be behind windows and what should be behind walls, clarity ensued, and a greater bond between my husband and myself was also a beautiful surprise.

It makes perfect sense, and also the perfect fall back for a Step Mom who may sometimes struggle with how much of her life is now, no pun intended, under glass. I have often just used the key words windows and walls with my husband to bring focus back to the special-ness of our relationship, and the contents of which require safe keeping.

Sometimes, the re-married spouse tends to want to justify things to the children of the previous marriage, not really realizing how it may compromise the new union. Sometimes, the “stuff” of the new marriage just plain isn’t any of their business. Period.

Marrying into a family in progress doesn’t mean you’ve given tacit agreement to having your skivvies strung out on the line whenever someone feels the urge.

You have the right to privacy in your relationship, to a little secrecy that keeps things special between you and your husband. Adopt the Windows and Walls mantra and let that freedom reign supreme.

Love and hugs,

PJ xoxoxoxo

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