My Step Mom Story…

On a cold winter night, at a stop sign in the middle of nowhere, on the frozen tundra better known as Saskatoon, during a conversation about whether I would ever have kids or not…. I proudly declared to my BFE (Best Friend Ever)…I think I’ll become a Step Mom.

And you know what they say about sending stuff like that out to the Universe…ask and you shall receive. And although this theory has not worked well at all for the winning of the lottery, it did indeed deliver on the Step Mom front!

Oh Yes, my tall dark and handsome, one and only true love came complete with 3 bundles of yet to be discovered joy at the ages of 11,12 and 14….I saw that cringe…yikes is right!!

We have certainly had our less than stellar moments over these past 7 years, but we have also laughed a lot, gut wrenching side splitting laughter that even garnered the remark from one teen aged dinner guest…”What a happy family.”

In my endeavour to navigate these new and tricky waters, I launched a full on Internet search for all the resources I could find to prepare myself for what lie ahead, as I subscribe to the philosophy of the Dalai Lama that states being prepared for the stages of your life diminishes the stress and allows for the opportunity of happiness….but sadly I came up short.

As I was lucky enough to be born on a continent rife with opportunity,I have come to believe that our lot in life is the result of the choices we make and not necessarily of the circumstances we find ourselves in. As such, some of the online Step Mom groups that are of tremendous value to others, just didn’t appeal to me personally.

As a Gemini a business builder and a leader,I need ideas that lead to solutions. So, I had to create these ideas, test them, fail miserably at some of them and celebrate the success of a few others of them…all by myself. This blog and subsequent events etc. are a testament to that journey, ever a work in progress, and if one woman is positively effected by the ideas inspired by the writing on these pages, then I will consider this mission of mine accomplished.

126Rock ON Awesome Step Mom, Rock ON !!

LA xo

12 responses to this post.

  1. First of all I find it terribly hard to believe that NO ONE has commented on this. Step-mom resources might as well be written in invisible ink for all the good they are doing. They don’t exist! I found like two whole books on the subject.
    Love the blog will be back for more!

    Reply

    • Posted by happyinside on October 23, 2009 at 7:23 pm

      Thanks so very much for stopping by. I felt the same when I went looking for resources when this journey was new to me…without much luck. Nothing really resonated with me, so I spent some time living through and attempting to figure it out, and now I’m here…glad you are too!!
      LA xo

      Reply

  2. Just found this blog. Love it. Hey…Dirty Mouth Mama…where have you been hiding? We agree with you…that’s why we started the magazine earlier this year!
    Come visit us.

    Reply

    • Posted by happyinside on November 8, 2009 at 9:52 am

      Thanks so very much for stopping in, we truly appreciate it!And thank you as well for recognizing the need to share Step Mom resources and doing the work you do.Together we can create magic :) LA xo

      Reply

      • Hi, after 6 years of my husbands son’s and the trashing the home and will not get jobs and will not move out….yes they are well over 18…..my husband is the worst at saying to them….NOTHING….help me please, I am tired of the mess and destruction they are having on my marriage, the oldest is 27 had 6 years of colege and has worked for maybe 3 weeks in one year??????????? I am cook, lawn and house keeper!!! :-(

      • Linda, please know that first of all, you are not alone in this situation. So many women who marry into families in progress allow themselves to become everything the household needs, putting ourselves at the bottom of the heap, in order to make a good impression. Without knowing more about your situation, it is hard to offer insights, but allow me to offer this… take a look at your marriage first and outside of what is going on with the adult children. Address the issue of your marriage with your husband and resolve things in this relationship before moving on to tackle what is going on with his kids. Believe it or not, one day they will move on with their lives, and what will you be left with when that happens? Work on your marriage now and then the two of you can tackle the kid issues once you are working from a united front. You and your marriage need to be your primary focus…and in that order too…first YOU, then your marriage.
        If you’d like to continue this conversation via email, please do let me know.
        Be well,
        LA :)

  3. Glad to have found you!!! I have one biological 10 year old daughter who is my universe, one 8 year old stepson who I have known since he was 2 (and have seen such tremendous progress under my care, it’s inspiring) and a lovely husband. I think your blog will be somewhere I will land often!

    Reply

  4. Hey there- just saying hi. I like the look of your site, and am looking forward to reading more. I hope by now you have found the resources and stepsupport we so all need. I have found quite an amazing online stepmama community. It has helped me greatly in my stepmom journey :)

    Reply

  5. Love your blog!Great blog post.Please check out my blog as I am trying to get noticed some.Would appreciate any new followers and comments.Thanks!!http://stepmomjourneys.blogspot.com

    Reply

  6. Thanks for the heads up on the site. I actually had the link on my blog because I adored what these women were doing, and will look for their new link. Your site looks interesting, and I’ll watch it for a bit before deciding to add it to my blog or not.
    Have a wonderful day,
    PJ xoxo

    Reply

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